Thursday, December 23, 2010

Kissing Frog Does Not Turn him into a Prince

Guy 3: Antonio
Kids: 0
Status: Single
Employment: Post Doc Physicist with an interview at Harvard...right.
Height:  183 meters
Eyes:  dark brown, slightly sexy
Hair: Dark brown, thick - a few strands of gray - again, sexy to a point
Build:  average in shape guy
Outfit:Hm - hiking boots, cashmere cable-net sweater, zipped up, and dark wash jeans - and a Columbia jacket ..strange
First impression: Oh- he is cute sitting alone at the sushi bar - drinking saki...oh...accent too!! I am going to marry this one!
Blonde Date Blondie Rating: 4 out of 5 if it was not for the end of the will see
Date #2?:  Oh I really really wanted to! Thought we would, but hell no. Not a chance in the world.

I could literally hear the delicate and swift breath intensely falling from this mans lips to his lungs as I approached.  Oh, this one is going to be a piece of cake! Tall, decent looking- and already drinking saki. 
We had a decent time – moments I didn’t like him when he just inhaled an entire piece of sushi leaving the remnants of excessive soy sauce around his lips, and when he seemed to miraculously end up with a hole in his chin toward the end of the night, resulting in 25% of his water landing on his nice grey cashmere sweater.  
Endearing I found it - this man who claimed to be this intelligent, physicist - wasn’t perfect.  I like that.

We continued with a glass of wine night cap and I ended the evening fairly early.  At this point I made a dumb decision, so I am warning you right now; don’t judge me for it, OK! His car was closer so he drove me to mine.  I KNEW half way there, fuck, I should not get in this mans car, but he took me to mine as expected.  I leaned into give him a hug, I was fairly confident I would see this one again – I was excited in a sense.
Until he ate my face. What the fuck!! He did the whole two kiss cheek thing, which I went along with, until he grabbed the back of my neck and held my face to his opened fish odor mouth, proceeding to jab the inside of my cheeks and helpless face with his awful nub tongue.   Which brings me to another questions, how is it that people don’t know how to kiss?!  Age 12 sucking, literally is ok.  Age 30, god bless the woman who ties you down!

 I tried repeatedly saying “ok thank you” “text me when you get home” or any other comprehensive sentence I could think of to occupy my face and mouth from his insane efforts to eat me from the inside out.   (Well, let me correct that: it was the location of where he was trying to eat me from the inside out that was the problem; if he was intensely attempting to eat something else on my body with the zest and passion he had, I wouldn’t have been so upset)

Finally I pulled away, said I must go and he puts the car in park and says “no why don’t you stay here for a bit” I said, “absolutely not, have to go” where he followed to say “What, I traveled distance for you, you give me something?”

At that point I gave him the finger as I had my other hand on the door handle and was in my car before I could retract my finger from his face.

So my conclusion from all of this was he thought I was a slut from the beginning?? Was it my long beautiful blonde hair, my hot heels, the fact I was wearing eye liner? I mean, I looked pretty hot that day. Or that I laughed at his jokes?  Either way, what the hell would his mother think if she saw him act like that? Would she be disappointed? Because clearly no one has ever taught this man how to court a woman…or like I said, he thought I was a slut.

God – I can’t ever get it right with this dating thing!!

Here is to hoping my lips grown back and his bite marks don’t leave scars.

Love The Girl who must be too good looking for some people.and waiting for this kiss  ------->

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