Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Dating is like getting pregnant

So I woke up this morning with a thought.  Getting a boyfriend is kind of like getting pregnant. Well, especially for someone like myself.  I have been perfectly content, and insistent about not wanting a boyfriend for the past 2 years, focusing on my career, my education, my friends and family.  So I have trained my self; my actions, my words and body language to come across to everyone as if I am not interested in being taken.  I guess vulnerable would be a good word to describe exactly what I am NOT. (thanks dad!)

Then I realized this morning, this is a major change for my body -it is the same process of getting pregnant.  A few of my close friends have been trying to get pregnant for the last year or so, just like I have been 'trying' to get a boyfriend.  And the first thing medical doctors say is that you can not expect to get pregnant right away (though it is possible) since your body is so accustomed to doing the opposite of what you want now.  Whether that is being on birth control, or any other sort of ritual you choose to not get pregnant, (ps. the pull out method is not a good one nor safe kids!), it takes time for your hormones to readjust and remember it can make babies.  Inevitably, you will get pregnant.  Probably on a random night you indulge in too many glasses of wine, throwing caution into the wind, and the day after you have managed to convince yourself you don't want to be pregnant any more and you are perfectly happy with out a baby...but until that day thinking about it is stressful!

It's because you were not trying.  Your body relaxed, became accustomed to who it really was, all your ducks were in a row and your hormones evened out.  (This is not my medical opinion, really I have no clue what I am talking about, but it makes sense to me)

Same theory with dating - gosh knows, they day I admitted to myself, I would rather cry over alone with my cat watching a sad love drama movie, like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and The Notebook, than cry over stupid random real life boyfriend drama...I end up meeting my last ex the next day at the bar being a complete free spirit, and looking mighty fine, I must add. Well maybe that was a bad example because he is my ex, and I wish I never met him, but different story.

So I'm OK with being single right now, I guess is my point.  Like all my friends out there trying to get pregnant, my body needs some time to adjust to my new choice.  We can't just make a mental decision one day and expect all the domino's to fall behind it perfectly right away.  I have to retrain my body language, my conversation and my trust in men to make myself attainable to the opposite sex.  Someone they want to spend time with.

Because if you have known me at all the past few years, you damn well know I don't need no man to survive.  Trouble is, now I want one.

Happy Snow Day!
The Girl who has to learn not to be so 'masculine' as Patty from Matchmaker Millionaire would say :)


Amanda Ashley said...

Lovin your blog lady :-) Funny, witty, smart- I hear your voice coming through the text. Keep it up!


Sotimes you get what you want when you are not looking for it said...

Interesting story. I have found that I come across more opportunities or spark more interest when I am not looking for a relationship. According to guy friends it has to do with a level of confidence that you exude that can be much more sexier than making an obvious effort to get a guy's attention.

On a separate not, I'm super curious to hear more about what or who makes you call yourself "The Girl who has to learn not to be so 'masculine.'

I'm wondering because I was told this growing up but would like to know what you refer to as it applies to you.

A Girl's Gotta Eat said...

I completely agree with the comment about being confident and sexy to attract men - which in turn leads to my comment about having to be less masculine.

I take charge of situations - I am not afraid to open my own door, be confident and be blunt. I am not submissive of that girly girl attitude - I have a great career and I have worked hard for everything I have. I am not dramatic and I know how to relate to men.

How do you think it relates to you?

Thanks for the feedback!