Friday, February 25, 2011
The Other Girl
I warn my readers – I have to preface with my interpretation of dating. Even growing up among friends, the terms of casual relationships differed greatly in meaning. To me dating was something that you could do with multiple people at the same time. The point is to ‘date’ to see whom you like and if you are compatible. Dating never involved sex. Having sex with multiple people - I consider being a whore if you are looking for love, if you are in college, different story - and being understanding as I am, really to each your own.
Back to the point - After you dated a few people, and you went on a few dates, you then entered the ‘relationship’ ‘going out’ stage, which summed up to monogamy. This is at the only point when I am with someone care for, that I will consider sex. (mom, admit it, you know I am not a virgin – you read my secret diary too many times even pretend like you think I haven’t had sex). My long story short, is that dating to me is the non-monogamous point of a relationship, each party I am dating should not be concerned I am sleeping with someone else, and it really is for me to find out who I would want to share my time, and vagina with.
Like any business owner will tell you of it’s employees, “it has to be a good fit for both of us.” Which means I think dating is also a time when guys could be seeing multiple people, and being included in their mix, sooner or later they may realize they have lost their appetite for learning about me. I am ok with that. That is what dating is about.
My point to this defensive description is that I am willing to finally talk about one of the good dates I have been on. Hoping there is no judgment passed that though I may see this individual frequently, I will continue to go on blind dates.
Let me rewind. In all honesty there has not been a date at all. Simply two individuals drawn to eachother by madness and intrigue. Have you ever met someone like that in your life, that you are so similar to- you fear it could destroy you?
Although I don’t think he is as attentive to everyone that he is to me, I find my self starting to realize I am falling into ‘the other girl’ category. You guessed it, he has a girlfriend. Which, being an adult and knowing that ahead of time I will accept any criticism for, because as I stated, I was aware of it ahead of time. Dr. Phil might even say I continued to pursue my interest because I knew he was unattainable. Fuck my life.
It is not the presence of the girlfriend in this situation that has ruffled me. We have been in public three times in the last 2 weeks – exchanging intimate touches and kisses, and I have no problem admitting to anyone he has a girifriend. Listen to this…he had the audacity to say to me, “I get jealous thinking of you going on all these blind dates, but who am I to say that because I have a girlfriend” – I am testing him and he is testing me -
At what point do you go from being interested in someone, to completely becoming ‘the other girl’. As irrational as it may sound – I understand how men and women cheat on boyfriends. With ridiculous line fed to you like “her and I are on and off for years” or “my situation” is different. Which ironically I completely understand. Insecure people need to keep simple people around to feel balanced and grounded. And they tend to be the ones who are strive for the great love – the one they write stories about. Then there is the “she knows I am seeing other people” line – that seems somewhat plausible considering he is willing to be seen in public with me and introduce me to people – but I know it is still bull shit. In all honesty I have summed it up to them being porn starts or swingers. Hey – I’ll try anything once (sorry dad)
So whatever – I am the other girl. First for everything.
More to come on this guy later…there are SOOO many stories….haha.
Here’s to hoping I get slapped in the face for this one and wake up.
The Girl Who constantly likes guys she can’t have so she inevitably will be angry and single