Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A SPAMMED comment

Felt bad I was the only one who could read this comment because for some reason it was spammed???? wtf, this is a great one - I didn't even know that was possible to get a comment spammed - so I thought only fair to share some excerpts from it.  Especially since it is clearly from someone who thinks they know who is writing this blog...I figured I owed it to them.

---Stop pitying yourself for always liking the guy you can't have. Why don't you start feeling some remorse, and think about the not other girl, aka the GIRLFRIEND. This one post has shown the world your true colors. You aren't this strong, independent, woman who says "fuck the world, I am my own person and I own who I am." You are the OTHER WOMAN. Who is the other woman? A pathetic, pushover, who allows herself to be used, and allows herself to buy into the belief that he really cares about you. Haven't you said yourself, if he really cared, he wouldn't treat you like shit? He isn't testing you. He is using you. And you are freely allowing it. Self-induced emotional masochism at its finest. Why don't you actually grow a pair, get some self-esteem, tell this guy to fuck off, and stop feeling bad for yourself. No one has a pity party for the other woman.---

Well, glad they got that off their chest!  The only thing I will defend, is I do not pity myself. I am just writing. And yes, I know I am writing about things most people don't like, but I am not afraid to acknowledge certain dating issues. I do not expect, give nor feel any pity. Just being honest. I hope everyone does not get that confused with the objective behind this blog. 

Unfortunately for them, and myself, I will probably go on more dates. I will probably like more men. I will most likely make stupid mistakes. I will do things I regret.  I will say things that don't make sense.  I will follow my heart before I listen to my head. I will make decisions that will not seem like the right ones after the fact and that many will have opinions about. I will fall in love again. I will be heart broken again. I'm just living my life. I'm just being real.  



Anonymous said...

Your response reminds me of this comic:

Hint: You're the dude in the comic.

The topics are different, but defending idiotic behavior with "that's just how I am" doesn't work. I'm not the writer of the original comment but I agree with them.

The entire point of this grand blog adventure is to find love? Right? You're doing it wrong. Stupidly, foolishly, blatantly, and intentionally wrong. You're a smart woman and you KNOW you're doing it wrong.

Stop begging for attention, and stop toying with these men & yourself. Continuing to be "just how you are" will simply perpetuate your loneliness.

"That's just how you are." Then that's just how you remain alone.

Anonymous said...

And you still don't acknowledge that you're doing an awful thing to another person...
It's certainly possible to find love without being so destructive but I think you like the idea of breaking up a relationship. If this guy ever broke up with girlfriend for you (which will never happen, I promise you, you're the other woman because he likes his girlfriend better than you) you wouldn't want anything to do with him. You don't want to find love, you want drama. And if you keep going the way you're going, you'll get plenty of it.

A Girl's Gotta Eat said...

@anonymous is totally right. I think I am in love with them.

Just one note* this blog is not about finding love. Never has been, never will be. It's about shitty dates. And writing about them.

I would be interested @anonymous to know your relationship status and all the wonderful love and butterfly dating you have been on. I am really quite envious you have never had a bad experience...lucky duck. Guess we can not all be so lucky.

But I LOVE the feedback keep it coming!

Anonymous said...

Hey, "Spammer" here. I love how you left out perhaps the most poignant portion of my argument that I posted last week. However, if you felt it hit too close to home to share with your "followers" then so be it. We'll keep it our little secret ;-)

The reason I said you pity yourself is because your statement of "Love,
The Girl Who constantly likes guys she can’t have so she inevitably will be angry and single" <-- that to me is self-pity. I guess maybe self-loathing. Although, aren't they really one in the same?

Don't take offense to my post, I was trying to get you to wake the EFF up (I am using "eff" instead of the true word, because maybe that was why my post was "spammed." I, honestly, do not know). I am reveling that @anonymous1 and @anonymous2 both agree with me.

Saying or doing whatever you want does not an adult make. Being an adult means you have the means or ability to say or do whatever you want, but you have the rationale, conscience, morale, and guts, to know better. It means exercising some self-discipline when you know that your words or actions could be painful or destructive to yourself, or especially another.

Sure, you say you just aren't "afraid to acknowledge certain dating issues." Anyone can acknowledge infidelity. But not everyone can say they knowingly engaged in it, and then blasted it for the whole world to see. You think it might make you brave, putting your affair out there on the internet, written in permanent ink, but it doesn't. It just means you are selfish, and infantile, when it comes to matters of the heart and the head.

Everyone has made bad decisions and mistakes. But when they are so brazenly written about, callously unaffected by the destruction it could cause another, and without any sign of remorse... that is when it becomes offensive.

Anonymous said...

It makes me sad that readers are thinking this of you as they read what you've written. I know that blogging and expressing one self is perfectly fine to do, but maybe this is a pivotal moment to consider what role you are playing in your own intent/mission/desire. I often have realized that when I find no one else taking my side or understanding what/why I'm saying, there might be something in what I'm believing or emitting that needs adjustment in some way shape or form. Something as simple as rephrasing or providing more clarity on intent. You might not feel the need to give all that, but at the same time, it cannot be healthy to continue this way. So my comment is please do not stop writing, its funny to hear crazy dating stories, but some of us are starting to notice something different in this recent evolvement of your 'expression'. Feedback should always be welcome, that's a given. It's who we continue to be with what we know that defines our character and value. Good luck!

Kariey said...

I caved.

Yes, I signed up for a dating site a while back.

My entire life, boys have been a matter of if it happens, it happens; and if not, I’m happy single. I’ve seen too many people who feel like absolutely must be in a relationship to be happy. My mother taught me that you must be happy on your own in order to be happy in a relationship.

I did go on a date with someone that I talked to on okcupid last month, and believe me, he wasn’t worth a second date. He talked about the girls he had sex with outside of relationships, and that just isn’t my style. I learned what a tramp stamp is for on that date. Trust me, that isn’t dinner conversation. I’d love to think of myself as a modern girl, but it’s nice when a guy opens a door for you or pays for dinner on a date. Isn’t that what a date is for? First impressions are everything. I paid for our dinner; he didn't even offer to pay for his half. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and he talked about how a sneeze is a tenth of an orgasm. Now, I’m not a nun by any means, but again, not dinner conversation. At least not with someone who you literally just met.

I’m now beginning to talk to someone else, and I honestly do hope that he turns out to be someone that I could at least be friends with if things don't work out.

At the young age of 18, and recently moved out on my own in November after my parents passed away back in August 2009 and December 2009, is it possible for me to find a guy who can understand that I’ve had to grow up fast? Or must I wait for a few years until the guys close to my age mature?

Anonymous said...

@AGG2E: Whether I agree with your choices or not, it has to be said that your response above to the lambasting is nothing but straight up classy. Keep it up! Your blog will be successful because it is raw and real, not vapid and two-dimensional like others. Everyone has their skeletons - you just help people feel more comfortable with theirs. Sexy single man love will find you soon, cause you deserve it.

A Girl's Gotta Eat said...

@Kariey - so glad to hear you are going out again after such a disastrous date! It seems like the traditional way of dating has been set to the side a bit. Talking about sex and orgasms is the wrong way to get your dates attention! Unless he was completely not interested in you, and trying to be sure you didn't end up liking him (which doesn't seem the case because you look like a beauty and have had a life that made you grow up faster).

Move on to the next one, and chalk it up to a full moon and a crazy night. Don't discourage yourself...just don't pull your wallet out when the check comes or reach for it..he will get the clue.

And honestly, it is a 50/50 chance you will have to date someone older because you clearly have matured quicker than the normal teenager - just keep around good company and friends, because they will tend to keep good company too. Look for guys in places like the public market, library, fresh food section in the grocery store, local networking events and places where it takes a genuine and mature guy to do those things. A good relationship for you could also end up being one that starts as a friendship and that person grows with you - and in a sense you help him mature, because he sees what type of man it will take to be with you.

Keep us posted and wish you the best of luck in the dating game - heck if it wasn't a challenge what would you have to gossip about to your girlfriends:)

<3 AGG3Eat

A Girl's Gotta Eat said...

@ anonymous 'spammer' great to have a reply! Portions of the comment were removed, only because some of them were based on assumptions that you knew the exact person that is writing all of these blogs - which I am sure you thought were valid assumptions based on exposure and evidence, but just remember it might not be the case.

- as for remorse. It is why I have never done anything with a guy who had a gf in the past - because I did consider what it did to the woman.

I just find it interesting that no one commented on the fact that the guy is clearly a dud and how he is in the wrong too for profoundly instigating and continuing to pursue another woman when he has a long time girlfriend. No defending, or implying that was the point of the post - just an interesting observation - don't cha think? Cause I know sitting around martini's with the girls that is the FIRST comment that would come up!

@anonymous the latest one - thanks for the support! This really is mean to be a forum to discuss issues that most people won't open their mouths about, and believe me I'll never stop writing....out of all the blogs I have written the most controversial one has received the most response...

Until the next lovely story :) <3 AAG2eat

LoveFool said...

Wow - some people have sure got there knickers in a twist over this, haven't they - although I do find it interesting that all the negative comments are hiding behind the "Anonymous" tag ...

I enjoy your blog, and I shan't be judging, as I know damn well, I've done worst in the past. I think the only thing I'd say is guard your heart well, as it's so easy to get hurt (and I know this from first hand experience, plus watching a close friend get sucked in to a 4 marathon of silliness with a guy in a relationship). However, I'm sure you're far more sensible than either of us were ;o)

I love the stories - and the point of a blog like this is to record all the happenings for another day. I write my own blog just because there's a lot of stuff I can't talk about anywhere else, exaclty because it might hurt people, and it's somewhere to unburden, whether I'm judged or not. I can pretty well tell you that nobody else judges us as harshly as we judge ourselves.

Good luck, and may you be luckier in love than me ... which frankly isn't difficult!!!

LoveFool said...

That should have said "4 year marathon" doh!!!