The Other Girl

I warn my readers – I have to preface with my interpretation of dating.  Even growing up among friends, the terms of casual relationships differed greatly in meaning. To me dating was something that you could do with multiple people at the same time.  The point is to ‘date’ to see whom you like and if you are compatible.   Dating never involved sex.  Having sex with multiple people - I consider being a whore if you are looking for love, if you are in college, different story  - and being understanding as I am, really to each your own.

Back to the point - After you dated a few people, and you went on a few dates, you then entered the ‘relationship’ ‘going out’ stage, which summed up to monogamy.  This is at the only point when I am with someone care for, that I will consider sex.  (mom, admit it, you know I am not a virgin – you read my secret diary too many times even pretend like you think I haven’t had sex).  My long story short, is that dating to me is the non-monogamous point of a relationship, each party I am dating should not be concerned I am sleeping with someone else, and it really is for me to find out who I would want to share my time, and vagina with.

Like any business owner will tell you of it’s employees, “it has to be a good fit for both of us.”  Which means I think dating is also a time when guys could be seeing multiple people, and being included in their mix, sooner or later they may realize they have lost their appetite for learning about me.  I am ok with that.  That is what dating is about.

My point to this defensive description is that I am willing to finally talk about one of the good dates I have been on.  Hoping there is no judgment passed that though I may see this individual frequently, I will continue to go on blind dates.

Let me rewind. In all honesty there has not been a date at all.  Simply two individuals drawn to eachother by madness and intrigue.   Have you ever met someone like that in your life, that you are so similar to- you fear it could destroy you? 

Although I don’t think he is as attentive to everyone that he is to me, I find my self starting to realize I am falling into ‘the other girl’ category.  You guessed it, he has a girlfriend.  Which, being an adult and knowing that ahead of time I will accept any criticism for, because as I stated, I was aware of it ahead of time.  Dr. Phil might even say I continued to pursue my interest because I knew he was unattainable.   Fuck my life.

It is not the presence of the girlfriend in this situation that has ruffled me.  We have been in public three times in the last 2 weeks – exchanging intimate touches and kisses, and I have no problem admitting to anyone he has a girifriend.  Listen to this…he had the audacity to say to me,  “I get jealous thinking of you going on all these blind dates, but who am I to say that because I have a girlfriend” – I am testing him and he is testing me -

At what point do you go from being interested in someone, to completely becoming ‘the other girl’.  As irrational as it may sound – I understand how men and women cheat on boyfriends. With ridiculous line fed to you like “her and I are on and off for years” or “my situation” is different.  Which ironically I completely understand. Insecure people need to keep simple people around to feel balanced and grounded. And they tend to be the ones who are strive for the great love – the one they write stories about.  Then there is the “she knows I am seeing other people” line – that seems somewhat plausible considering he is willing to be seen in public with me and introduce me to people – but I know it is still bull shit.   In all honesty I have summed it up to them being porn starts or swingers.  Hey – I’ll try anything once (sorry dad)

So whatever – I am the other girl.  First for everything.

More to come on this guy later…there are SOOO many stories….haha.

Here’s to hoping I get slapped in the face for this one and wake up.

Love,

The Girl Who constantly likes guys she can’t have so she inevitably will be angry and single 

You must be "this" tall to ride this ride

Guy 2:  Matthew

Age:  32 – so he said. ha

Kids: 0

Status: Single

Employment: ‘self employed’ aka laid off and can’t find a job…

Height:  maybe…..maybbbeeeeee pushing 5’2”

Eyes:  I have no fucking clue, it was dark in the bar

Hair: Almost military buzz – made me realize how much I miss the fo-mo

Build:  As nice as a 5’2” man can look – I really need to remember to check height requirements before these dates to determine reality of wearing heels.

Outfit:   Great jacket, cool scarf, hot jeans, classic shoes…well done sir.

First impression:  Yep, his head looks too small for his body.

Blonde Date Blondie Rating:  4 … probably the best date I have gone on so far…in only that there was actually a real conversation that took place…too bad he didn’t make my vagina wet. 

Date #2?:  nope…

So this was actually a set up by a colleague.   A nice woman I work with, who apparently might have a crush on me, told me that I needed to meet her friend Matt.  She said he had the same sense of humor, sharp wit and sarcastic stories to tell about dating.  If you can’t tell by now, I am up for anything.  She could of told me he wanted to take me skydiving and I would have been asking if he will be straddling my back when I jump or some hot muscular stranger.  Hmm…I kinda wanna go skydiving now.

Anyways, I said yes to the date, he was polite, called me, we set a time to get drinks….and I ditched him.  Opps! He had texted me on a Tuesday, asking to get drinks on Thursday and in my head I said yes. I was excited, I didn’t have any plans for Thursday.  Well, apparently I never told him that and texted him back.  Until I remembered that Saturday I was supposed to have plans with him. “I never wrote you back” I said to him, and his reply was a simple “nope”.  Normally I wouldn’t have cared, I fucked up and clearly we were not meant to see eachother.  Only this was different, it was a friend of a friend. I was doing her a favor – I could just hear the conversation between them about me if I didn’t meet him…”that stuck up bitch”. 

Ended up not being like that at all.  I spoke with my colleague about it the following week, expressing my sincere apologies for blowing him off and she kindly said, “I told him I know you were busy with work, so he understands”.  Well then, I guess there are still a few decent people left in the world.

I had to make it up to her so I made plans to meet this guy and got all dolled up.  When I walked into the bar, I couldn’t find him.  Little did I know at that time it was because he was a midget and blended in. (aw, that was mean)

So I called him.  Well…I called Matt. I called a Matt.  I called the wrong Matt. I called another Matt that I had been ‘texting’ from online for about 3 weeks and consistently blowing off.  Yep, here I am asking “Hey, are you here”, to here his response “Where, how are you?” and noticing the slight rise in his vocal cord due to his pure excitement I had called him.

I looked at my phone, fuck.  So I hung up on him and called the right Matt.  I clearly need to come up with a better system for storing these guys names.

We finally met, sat down, ordered some meat and cheese dish, I enjoyed an extra dirty 3 olives martini with 3 olives and chatted. 

Then it happened. I fucking knew this would happen sooner or later.  We were talking about how our mutual friend told him that I was the girl of his dreams and how we had each been on ridiculous dates.  Then he mentioned online dating, then online dating profiles….then my online dating profile……that he had read…..because he had written me ….. oh fuck.

Yep.  He was one of the guys who had been emailing me for a date, which I kept blowing off.   Now I don’t get embarrassed or blush, ever.  But this moment was the exception to the rule.  Apparently he had asked me some lame question and I replied with a short answer…whatever, don’t ask me a lame question.

I guess it registered with him when he had called me to make a date and I said something about my profession and all of a sudden ‘my face popped into his head for no reason’ – then it hit him, the girl his friend was hooking him up with - he had already attempted to set himself up with, and failed.  Opps.

Though it is an interesting look at the dynamic of dating – online vs. being set up vs. meeting people. 

I knew it would happen sooner or later in a new city as I made friends, that I would meet someone out that recognized me from my online profile, but I sure as hell didn’t think it would be someone my friend set me up with.

What I liked about him: we had a passionate conversation about business, and before I knew it 2 hour had passed.  He was polite, he paid, he listened.

What I didn’t like about him: Honestly, there wasn’t much about him I didn’t like.  The only red flags were the clear fear of commitment, with relationships and job stability.  Yes, we had a heated conversation about things, but I don’t mind disagreeing with someone.  In fact I actually rather enjoy it.  I like proving why I am right J Hey – I am a Taurus….stubborn little bitch, and don’t intend to change.

I guess this was a pure simple lack of attraction.  I absolutely am a believer in the school of thought that ‘he does not have to be hot to everyone, just me.’  And that tends to be true more often than not.  Unfortunately, most of the guys I have fallen for were apparently hot to many other women, proven by the number of time I have been cheated on by some of my bf’s…ahh fuck it, I am just attracted to douche’s….assholes….

Ok.. I am getting off topic.  My point is, I have – currently am – and will always like guys based on their personality first.  BUUUT... But. You, as an individual, with that person as part of your life, must be attracted to them.  Looking at them should make you nervous.  The nervous that makes you feel your heart beating in your neck.  I mean come on people, if you don’t want to spend endless hours kissing and possibly doing other naughty things with a potential ‘significant other’ on atleast the first 10 dates….don’t bother.  You will end up cheating. 

No not, really, I don’t know if you will cheat. But really – there has to be some sort of sexual tension between the two of you.  And unfortunately, as hard as I tried to find it with his guy, it wasn’t there.

It didn’t help that when he stood up at the end of the date he barely passed my shoulder line and when he walked me to my car I had to bend over to hug him goodbye.

I am finally realizing I don’t tell people how I feel. I am the caretaker. I am the enabler to my single life. And my sister tells me I need to start telling people what I want… I want things. I want to go deep sea diving. I want to go skydiving. I want to see a Blue Whale.  I want to run a marathon.   Want to go rock climbing…on a huge mountain. I want to go snowshoeing.  I want to go to a rain forest.  I want to go hiking with a backpack and camp for a week straight while riding horses.  I want to own a horse.  I want to drive a jet ski. I want to go on a helicopter ride. I want to ride in a hot air balloon.   I want to swim with sharks.  I want to be inches away from a wild crocodile.  I want to wander in the wilderness.  I want to see Africa. Authentic Africa. Not that tourist shit. I like going sledding in the winter. I enjoy the zoo. I hate walking long distances, but only because I have a bad back - not because I am lazy. I love playing sports> volleyball, basketball, kickball, softball...I love going to any live sporting event. I don't love beer, but I will have one among company. I don't consider myself a fashion snob, but I like to be put together. If my friend called me from Alaska and needed my help - I would be on the first plane there. I don't make excuses why I can't go out with friends, and I don't like liars. All the bad things (for the most part) that can happen to a woman in a relationship have happened to me. I'm not damaged, but I am aware. I am being open right now. I don't do that enough apparently.

I want a shot of tequila after all that sappy emotional stuff.

Here’s to hoping the next guy isn’t so short he can eat me out while standing…

Love,

The Girl who is starting to realize what she wants J

Judge me. Criticize me. Hate me. Like me. Love me. Want me.

So I figured what the fuck - I can't sit here and judge these idiot men on their inability to take a decent girl or hell just any girl on a date or grow a pair of balls and contact me because my profile is "intimidating".  And someone said it earlier, that the people responding to my request to why people don't contact me are not the people I want to hear from....


..so I figured who better than my friends and followers to judge the shit out of me.  Do it - Even it is not something on my profile and you know me personally and think I am an idiot, stupid or ugly - work too much or wear too much make up - tell me how you really feel... Tell me why I don't get good dates.  Do it. You won't.

For every 3 Comments made about me and pertaining to why I am single, I will answer a personal question from anyone - honestly.

_______________________________________________________________________

My self-summary

My biggest goal right now is to learn why guys who look at my profile do not contact me - I am just intrigued by the male mind, I'd like to know what type of man I am distracting to or what it is about my profile that might turn someone away :)


I admire the drive to always be better than what you are, and traveling is my favorite hobby...plus I am always fun :)

What I’m doing with my life

I am a Event Director, long story short - dream job.

I’m really good at

Winning :) I am a highly competitive person but knows how to have fun with it

The first things people usually notice about me

How I don't stop moving or talking - or my many leather bound books

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

The Da Vinci Code, Clockwork Orange, Dark Knight, Devil Wears
Prada, Mrs. Doubtfire,

The six things I could never do without

Friends
Education
Internet
Culture
Starbucks
Fluffy Puppies

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Right now it is work - because that is what I spend most of my day doing, since I just moved here. I am a planner by nature and by profession, so I am always thinking 'what's next?"

On a typical Friday night I am

Depends what my friends are doing - friends and getting out are very important to me - I am extremely social, but I would be just as happy going to the ballet or sitting home cooking dinner together as I would a country bar or Sporting event.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

Well, the fact I am even filling this thing out is pretty high up there.

I’m looking for

• Guys who like girls
• Ages 24-38
• Near me
• Who are single
• For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners

You should message me if

You think I am cute, and you are not just doing it because you are a horny bored man, but really looking for someone to spend a fun day with and learn with - too much? probably why I am single :)

Judge me. You won't.

Love,

The Girl who apparently just grew a pair of balls.

Why are you giving me a reason to run?

Let's hope I don' get arrested for posting these - if I do, I will clearly plead insanity.

I don't get it. Seriously- why would you send me pic message of you with another girl, or with your shirt off or standing in front of your filthy bathroom sink???...like really??

Unfortunately for me, there has been an abundance for ridiculous pic messages sent to my phone...you would think it would make me less apt to go on a blind date with them...psych!!! exact opposite.  I want to meet these fools.  I actually will be meeting one next week - I need a crazy fuck to get my mind off things...but seriously....would you want to get this in your inbox?

Seriously. WTF. I vomited. Then Laughed. The end.

Don't worry - this guy is going to "Be the man of my dreams and keep a smile on my face from all the laughter he will cause"

Ok - Men out there...do not take self portraits. Unless they are ridiculously hilarious, spur of the moment photo and mocking fun of something in the background...do not stand in your bathroom and pose. Because here is the thing - we know that this is not the one and only picture you have taken.  We now know you stood there, for at-least 15 minutes, and practiced. That's fucking lame. I might be acceptable for 15 year old highschool girls...because they are 15 year old highschoolers!!!...we can see your stretched arm!!! No matter how much cropping you do...you are still pathetic.

I don't get it...what about you driving, unsafely taking a picture of yourself, with a double chin makes you think I will find you attractive? ? ? ? ?  ? Ladies? Am I wrong? But ...that's one sweet button-up shirt.  and you look awful close to the guardrail sir.

You are so cool. Because you have a sunroof.  Thank god you shared. ugh..

I dunno - call me crazy - but if this is what the dating scene is like in this area...I am eff You See Kay'd.


Here's to finding a guy who knows how to take a decent photo.

Love,

The Girl Who needs to switch cell numbers very soon :)

My first date with a cartoon character

Guy 4:  Steve

Age:  26

Kids: no

Status: Single

Employment: Honestly I don't even remember - was concentrating on how to end the date before it began

Height:  maybe 5’8” - who am I kidding 5'6"

Eyes:  beautiful blue - but those monkey ears! O MY...I felt as though i was in the presence of dumbo and could magically take  air ride any time

Hair: Dirty blonde – dumbo ears

Build:  Average - healthy, worked out...big ears. 

Outfit:  Nice scarf, some JCrew Sweater, jeans and Pumas..yessss I love Pumas..

First impression:  hmm....I wonder if he can ever find a pair of headphones that fit...

Blonde Date Blondie Rating:  1 - I felt like i was on a date with a middleschooler

Date #2?:  haha nope.

This kid played curling, along with volleyball, basketball, baseball, kickball and probably skeeball -every night during the week....on men's leagues.  And he wonders why he is single? Or he is madly in love with one of his teammates and is too chicken to say it.  

Either way – all that sums up this one is: transformers tattoo. Yes, this grown man, admitted to me within 30 minutes of meeting him, he has a large Transformer symbol between his shoulder blades, as he stated "because tattoos should mean something" and he always loved Transformers.

HAHAHAHA - What the fuck. I think in some twisted, warped way he feels more powerful knowing he has this tattoo.  Like he has a symbol to combine with Earth, Wind and Fire to conquer the world of evil someday.  And I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a nickname for himself, like, "Thief Stopper".  I clearly think his nickname should have been Dumbo, he could have been the aircraft to transport all the superheros.  Equally as important!

He was sweet though, paid for my drinks, which a gentleman should, picked up my scarf when it fell. We had decent conversation, which means nothing to me, because I can have a great conversation with a rock. hahah...fuck, and I wonder why I am single (I don't really, I know why I am single).

...long story short this kid was more interested in what time his dodgeball team had kick-off the next day than sitting there and asking me if I even had a job...Thank god the hot blonde on a blind date next to us bought me a shot of Tequila to ease the pain, she might have been more entertaining than Mr. Dumbo.

Here's to finding someone who will love me more than his 'club' sports...

Love, 

The Girl who would of rather hung out with the other couple having a date laughing the whole night.