Thursday, April 21, 2011

I haven't had sex in over a year.

So I have done some crazy things.  This is my year in review...(a little late, just like me!)

I love hearing the positives and negatives of my idea and creating this blog.  I am and always will be an open book on most topics. Though, when you hit a nerve - you know it.  Love me or hate me, you are still talking about me - that is the point of entertainment...yes, I know putting your life and details out there may be controversial to some, and seem narcissistic to others, thats ok to think that....because it is. That is why you read it.  That is why I write it - because other people won't.

I also know people can relate, which is what I want.

So back to me again.  Duh - like I said - the whole idea behind this is narcissistic.

Being on my fair share of blind dates - some of which I haven't even spoke about yet (oh, they get betterrrrrrrrrr...think, body fluid..oh yes), I started to realize I finally am starting to know the characteristics in a person that matter to me, thinking about situations that might not necessarily seem like the moments that would define a person - but I think they do.   Like making sure the bartender knows I am allergic to whiskey - do you want me to breakout in hives? no! So if you are ordering me a shot and you make the effort multiple times, even as she is walking away to say "anything, but NOT canadian whiskey!!"  I notice. I like that.

This self relfection has been the product of a ridiculous look at the real reasons I am single, other than the fact I am 'one of the guys' and always the friend - I don't tell people when I like them...and when I do, I get to scared to follow through. As most probably assume and conclude, my emotions are very damanged, defeated and guarded. After what I have been through I see letting people, men I am attracted to specifically, as a weakness - because clearly I have bad taste as seen in previous relationships.

But enough serious crap - I am moving past it all - an open book - I mean its not like I walked in on my ex humping my miniture scotish terrier wearing a kilt and playing bag pipes! Because THAT would be fucked up!

So I need your help - here is a little laundry list of things I have been thinking about would make a great guy, things they might do that I might not specifically express that I notice or it makes me happy, but they do, someone who:

  • Selflessness: Will fire up the frying pan at 3 am after the bar to make guacamole fresh. Just tossin' in some spices and oils and peppers...cutting fresh avocados...I mean really, who the fuck has avocados in their kitchen? Seriously?! Now even sweeter would be if they scooped a chip out for me because the bowl was too far...but now I am dreaming.

  • Open Minded: Not afraid to try something totally new and random: yes cliche - but I really mean it. If we are headed out to a bar and you ask where I want to go, I am going to say "I don't care" because I really don't - if I am in good company no matter where we go can be fun. Hell if we play our cards right and you can make friends with the bartender and the crazy guy who has to clean the bar because he has an overdue tab...those are the things I find enjoyable and hilarious - I want a guy who can make entertainment out of any situation we are in or with the people we meet...again...dreaming.

  • Respect: another cliche one, but if you are going to invite me over to watch a movie and don't put the moves on me, I am probably going to respect you more especially if you get in touch with me again, even if it is a lame movie like Get Em to The Greek, it doesn't matter - here is a secret - I am not really paying attention to the movie, if I come over to watch it - you can assume I like you :)

  • Spontaneous: I want a guy who isn't afraid to have a snowball fight/war in the middle of a bar, only to come back inside soaking wet to offer me his coat to stay warm while I dance off the snow with my killer moves.  And when my hair curls from getting wet and my make up melts off my face, he still thinks I look hot...ugh...too much to ask?

  • Passion: I am an independent person, so I want someone who is passionate about something in their life that keeps them occupied, and that they can talk to me about, but also someone who can take the time out of their busy day to see if I am feeling any better from the day before, or check in on me randomly when he knows I had a bad day.  Someone who selflessly offers himself as a sounding board and always seems to have the perfect thing to say.

  • Choice of music: I love music.  We have to mesh on our musical preferences atleast to  a point. I want someone who I can sit in a car with for an hour, just listening to the most ridiculous band, rocking out after a night at the bar. I want to feel comfortable enough to sing infront of them and smash my air symbol when the chorus picks up. I notice when that can happen  - I like it - and if you are into vinyl, even doper.

  • Someone worth waiting for.........I have met quite a few of men since the inception of this idea..over 4 dozen, in addition to the hundreds of friends/colleagues/aquantences I meet each year...but when I meet someone that I respect, admire and am sexually attracted to....and I finally say, 'I would wait for him'...I know I am in trouble.   I, of anyone, should value and respect the value in finding 'self' before you commit to 'us'.  So if someone is on a path related to education or career that will take them places I may not be able to follow...and I am ok with that...I know I am hooked.  Even more so, if I meet someone who I can respect and value their position in life and the need to explore before they settle...I don't your life, because I am not going to stop living mine. 

Sappy and disgusting and makes you want to vomit right??? I am helpless with this task :)

I am proud because I feel I am past my crazy bitch, jealous, teenager stage and now understanding and carefree...

I'm fucked though - cause guys only want the crazy bitches.

AGG2Eat <3


summer-claire said...

I love reading your blog, I'm newly single and you remind me why it's much more exciting and interesting :)

All girls are crazy in some way or another, worry not about that one!

I agree with you about the passion most of all: everyone, male or female, needs something they love and has dreams to chase - apathy and lethargy are the most unattractive traits in a partner.

Anonymous said...

This was an awesome post.:) You should do a column in the paper or something, ha! I hope you find this guy of yours!!
- Lisa R.

Nicole said...

Great post, loved it and I want a guy like that too! Here's to hoping we find him one day!

Anonymous said...

Just curious because I notice you have an amazingly vast amount of detail in your blog, but have you ever focused on how you FEEL when you are with a guy? Like put aside the technical stuff and just focus on how you feel when you are with him? Maybe for you all the technical stuff sum up to how you feel in the end. But I just wondered.

A Girl's Gotta Eat said...

@summerclaire - Thankyou! being single is very exciting and interesting and honestly..only as much as you make of it tho...remember to have fun!

@Lisa - a columnist and blogger? I like where your head is at! - feel free to send my link to anyone you might know...haha Thanks for following!

@nicole - Here is hoping we can find him one day :) He sounds pretty awesome right???

@anonymous 2 - you have a point, I don't feel much - I don't generally think about how feel - I focus on everyone else, but every point I made in this blog, is the closest thing I will do to admitting how I feel and want :)

Keep reading and thanks for the find me a man to love me :)


An Anguished Heart said...

I think those things you listed are important qualities for a man to have. Especially selflessness, respect, spontaneous, and respect. I believe that no woman should ever just settle for a man who isn't everything they want. Granted no man is perfect. But you sure deserve the best, and to be happy with your choice.